Sometimes friendship is hard

Recently I had to do something unconscienable: I had to shit
on a friend.

Let’s back up a bit and fill in the story. About a year and a half ago I
relocate my family across the country to somewhere in New England (I just
feel weird giving out more info than that). We really liked it here and
decided to stay. A couple of months after we came here I met someone who
would later become my best friend. Now, hold onto your hats. This person
is a *she”! I’m a ”he*. How could we possibly be friends and not
be having an affair?

Well the answer is short and sweet: grow up!

##The Chicken and the Egg

I’ve never been one to make **good** friends easily. Maybe it’s a
shield I have put up around myself to help me deal with a deep seeded
sense of inferiority (which I do have, but we won’t get into that now). I
have to know someone very well before I’ll open up to them, and it’s hard
to get to know someone well if you don’t open up. So this all adds up to
the fact that I haven’t had many close friends in my life. Since my late
teens (now I’m in my 30’s), there’s only been 5 (including my wife).

Now here’s the shocker: 4 of those 5 have been women and only one involved
sex (that would be my wife ;-). I can’t explain why, but for some reason I
identify more with and find it easier to open up to women. Don’t get me
wrong with that statement. I’m neither gay, nor do I dislike going to grab
a beer with some guys from work and watch hockey players tear each other
apart. I like *guy* things, but I also like art and Shakespeare and
poetry. I like high fives, but I also like long involved heartfelt
conversations. I like martial arts but I also like a good “Firing Line”
debate. For some reason, I’ve found it easier to connect with women on
more of these things than with men (i.e. women seem to be able to cross
that stupid gender line easier. Probably because they’re smarter and they
know it 🙂

After that last paragraph, I realize I need to include a note for the more
PC people who might be reading this article: lighten up!!!

##Back to our story

So, in any case, over the course if a year and a half or so, I became close
friends with this woman. Our families did things together. I got along
with and liked her husband and their kids. Our kids got along well (they
have a daughter that’s 9 years old and I have two daughters at 6 and 4).
In short, everthing was in the open because I didn’t want anyone feeling
uncomfortable with us being friends (and neither did she).

But my wife was uncomfortable.

I won’t go into details here, but something ugly happened (keep your mind
out of the gutter, it was nothing sexual!!!), and the unfortunate victim
was my friendship.