You know you have a good friend when…

##A trying couple of months

A couple of months ago I wrote [[A Note to a Friend]]. Its been
a trying couple of months in a lot of ways
(see [[When Life Throws You a Curveball…]]). The relationship I have with
my wife has been strained. I thought my close friend hated me. My job was
in jeopardy. The {glosssub(“New House News”, “house”)} that I’m building
is running late.

The good news is that all of the above seems to be winding down in
positive ways.

##What doesn’t kill us

First off, let’s begin by saying that I believe my
relationship with my wife is improving daily and that our marriage is
getting much stronger (perhaps stronger than it’s been in years). We’ve
probably talked more about substantial things in the last two months than
we have in the rest of our marriage put together. At first the
conversations were hard (how to you communicate deep feelings with someone
that you’ve never really talked to at that level before). It was
particularly hard on my wife. In that way, she’s somewhat like me. It’s
hard for her to open up completely to someone (and based on some of our
conversations, I now know why). In terms of friendships, the results are
very different. She makes lots of casual friendship, but nothing really
substantive. I make very few friends, but the ones I do are special. Things
are still a little strained, but now we can talk about it without getting
hurt in the process. Communication is the key. I’m happy to say that my
wife is becoming a close friend.

It also looks as though my friendship is going to be salvaged, and (again)
perhaps stronger for the trials it went through. It turns out that my wife
wasn’t so much threatened by my friendship as she was jealous of it. Let me
explain. She wasn’t jealous in the sense that she thought I was steppin’
out on her behind her back, but rather that my friend and I have a lot in
common that Danae would never have an interest in. She was jealous that she
didn’t have those connections with me. This is something we can work on
together so that I can keep my friend and my wife doesn’t have to be
jealous. All of this understanding came about because my wife and I have
been communicating much better.

Thankfully, I still have a job. My company went through a 30% reduction in
force and a lot of good people were let go. I don’t know what I would have
done if I was one of those. Rumors had been flying for weeks concerning the
layoff.

It looks like we might be able to get into the new house by the end of
August! I just talked to the builder this morning and he said that
everything should be done by then, except maybe the conservation
inspection. That could get sticky, but he’s going to work with the
conservation committee to try and avoid any delays.

##All in all

All in all the stress that’s been plaguing my life is starting to subside.
Thankfully, things are working themselves out in positive ways. Sometimes
you need to go through the fire before you can fully appreciate what’s
being burned.